Muggle Studies
by Twilts
Summary: Lily and Mira have gone through more Muggle Studies Classes than they would have liked, and when their professor realizes the date, they are sure not to come out completely sane.


**ASN (Akiko Saulii's Note):**

Not much to say except… well… enjoy:)

**Disclaimer:** This goes for the whole fanfiction. I don't own anything you recognize. I do own Mira, Professor Drags, and the other various students you'll find in the next chapters: everything you don't recognize. Kapish? Kaposh.

Rated just incase I decide to swear later on.

**Muggle Studies**

Chapter One

Lily slammed her books down on the ground beside her chair, earning frightful glances from the nearby first years, and collapsed into her chair. She muttered something at the speed of light before attacked the plates of food in front of her.

Her brunette friend Mira looked at her bemusedly, before calmly, and quite neatly cutting her pancake into bite sized pieces.

"And you have no problem with this odd, un-Lily-like behavior?" asked James, moving his plate out of Lily's reach and eyeing her with caution.

"What day is today, James?" queried Mira.

"Wednesday…"

"Which means?"

"Oh no," whimpered James, "Muggle Studies." He would _not_ look forward to that class!

"Why must I go? I don't want to go! You can't make me go! Someone must take a stand against it, and I, Lily Evans, am stepping up to the challenge! No one should face the horrible horror that is—."

"Hush, Lily. Honestly, what will people think? You are Head Girl after all. This is a shame. Maybe they _should_ have given the honor to Rachel Eaida. Lord knows_ she _wouldn't have skipped classes," chided Mira, Lily's best friend and always the voice of reason.

That perked Lily up.

She immediately stood up, brushed non-existent dirt off her robes and, grabbing Mira's arm, practically ran towards the stairs to the third floor.

"Honestly, Mira, do hurry up. We wouldn't want to be late for Professor Drags, now would we?" said Lily, in an incredulous tone.

"No, who_ever_ wouldn't want to go to Muggle Studies?"

Yes, the dreaded Muggle Studies is what the girls were off to. Lily had been pumped for this when third year had arrived, but found it to be rather dull and an exact duplicate of History of Magic except about Muggle History. Occasionally, they would do "labs" with amazing things such as telephones, and clocks, but muggle Lily found this dull, too. Unfortunately, Lily's die-hard studying personality would not let her drop the class and so she landed herself in the class for three years.

"Sorry Professor, it'll never happen again. I shall be forever ashamed." So declared Mira, and then dragged Lily off to the only empty seats. The Ravenclaws gave her a funny looks, but the Gryffindors didn't even look up. They were used to strange outbursts by now.

Lily rolled her eyes, muttered an apology, and slumped into her seat and after explaining their delay to Professor Drags ("And I simply couldn't remove that danged animal-thing from my leg! Honestly, Professor, I would never _dream_ of skipping Muggle Studies!"), Mira joined her.

"Ready, Mira?"

"Ready, Lily."

"1, 2—!"

Before their happy little proceeding was over, Professor Drags sent them a look and started talking. Both girls collapsed (softy, though. Mustn't disturb the professor) onto their tables.

"Today, we will be discussing an amazing thing muggles use called a 'car'. Now this is more advanced, so please turn to page 598, and begin reading up on it," said Professor Drags, and directions being set out, he plunked down into his massage chair and began to read from one of his many muggle-related books.

Lily sighed and shuffled around in her bag, pulling out a slightly battered copy of "The Muggle Mind" and turned to the correct page. Next to her, Mira had her hand over her face, staring forlornly at the chalk board, which had the instructions scribed on it.

Lily began to read.

_"Muggles have unique ways of getting around. One of the most used it the car, which resembles a box and has many types and brands. Most often seating 5, the cars roll on wheels, and—"_

"I can't do this," groaned Lily.

Professor Drags looked up, his left eyebrow twitching.

"Do what, Lily? Educate your mind about the amazing ways muggles have managed to survive in the world without magic? Is this topic too below you? Is this lifestyle too below you? When you find yourself lost in the world of an adult trying to life a normal life in the non-wizarding community that presides over most of London, where will you be?" Professor Drags stood up, outraged. He had had enough of this abuse of his adored subject, Muggle Studies. He knew it would be useful in the world for the children to take it now, and though he tried to explain that, it looked more like a tantrum.

Lily rolled her eyes. "Professor, I meant no offense," she gave him a weary smile and looked sadly down at her book once again.

James was watching all of this because he always enjoyed crazed outbursts, but when he saw the completely dejected look on Lily's face, he couldn't stand it. Not that he didn't want to prove his point to. Of course he did.

"Professor," he drawled, sprawled out in his seat, "haven't you noticed that half of the people in this class are muggle born, meaning they know about all this stuff, including the car." Professor Drags said nothing, but continued to twitch.

Mira nodded, "Plus, we have all been learning this stuff since the beginning of third year! Why, it has been nearly 3 years and 2 months thus far. Today, the 25th of March, I shall take a stand! Nay, we all shall take a stand and fight for our Austra—er, I mean, English rights!"

By then, Professor Drags had quite a strange look on his face. Oh well, at least he wasn't twitching.

"D-Did you say it was the 25th?"

Mira looked surprised, "Uh… yeah." She wasn't really used to anyone acting so strange—other than her, that is. The professor's face lit up, and he grinned from ear to ear, causing much of the class of wince. Lily grimaced. Just think of the starch marks a smile like that could leave!

"Delightful!" cried the professor, "I've missed this day for seven years! Puritan New Year!" The students blinked.

"Every year in Colonial America today would be the day one of the major religion groups would celebrate New Years! Annually Hogwarts Muggle Studies students celebrate this day by learning first hand about daily life for a colonists of the Americas!" He grinned, spun about and skipped out the door to inform Dumbledore.

In his absence, the young witches and wizards rejoiced in joy and confusion.

"Wohoo! No Muggle Studies!"

"No cars!"

"Yahoo!"

"Chores? Urgh… sounds like a bad Saturday."

"What are these 'chores' you speak of?"

"Annually, eh? Wonder why I've never heard of it."

"He apparently hasn't done this for 7 whole years!"

"Wait… is that really annual then?"

"Who cares! I get to MILK COWS!"

"Is that a good thing?"

"WOOHOO!"

So went the conversations.

A few minutes later, a loud 'pop' reverberated through the air and all the students look up from their various conversations to see Dumbledore standing in all his twinkling glory at the head of the room, an imposing figure. He smiled and looked around the room as for the first time in many years.

"Ah. Muggle Studies," he said.

"Yeah, that," said James, grinning at the headmaster, "Let's hope that today, we get out of it." The rest of the class all nodded, looking very serious. Lily had the most vigor, which made Dumbledore chuckle.

"I do believe you will remain in Muggle Studies," the class looked at him, terrified, "but you will simply spend this class and perhaps more doing numerous chores and tasks that Colonial Muggles engaged in. I have given your Professor permission to conduct such a class, but I do hope that you will not abuse this right." He looked directly at James, Sirius, and Remus, who nodded seriously, and, with a smile, he popped away.

The class waited, silent this time, awaiting the return of Professor Drags. He returned a minute later, his wand out, looking anxious to begin as soon as possible.

"Okay, before we start, I will explain the rules. One, do not abuse the materials available for you. You will be required to know how to use it before you, well, use it. Second, keep things in the classroom. I wouldn't like Muggle Studies dropouts to complain, would I? Third, wash your hands after milking the cows or after doing anything else dirty in the least." He smiled and raised his wand straight into the air, and spoke the single word of the spell (_Kolonizzere_).

The lights in the classroom flickered, and with a flash of light, not a trace of the class was found, and a wandering student would only find a few papers wafting about.

**ASN: **Hope you enjoyed:)

For random stuff about this fic like where the idea came from and why it's so weird, or where it's going, see my profile!

Oh, and by the way, March 25th really was Puritan New Year back then.


End file.
